In the end
by gram.waitforit.pola
Summary: One shot. Not much to say, the title says everything.


**One shot, short one. - A grey story, just like the sky and my mood today.**

* * *

'We're done.'

That words hit her like a punch on her stomach.

They had been arguing loudly for the past hour. She couldn't even remember why they were talking to each other like that. Something about the empty mug over the table? No. Deeper inside she knew that it was just an incentive, but not really the reason for a fight. As Jane shouted a new round of harsh words on her, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to regain some self-control. Her body was shaking, her hands closed in fists, nails threating cut her skin.

_Don't fall apart. Don't fall apart right now_, she kept saying to herself.

They had been doing it lately. Fighting for nothing; getting mad to each other for absolutely no aparent reason. It started with a tiny and insignificant desagreement followed by another one. And then another. It became annoying, like the tic-tac clock throught the silent growing heavier when you've got a headache. Sometimes they tried to work it out by having sex, but sex can't fix things up. Then, sex also turned out to be nothing more than that. Their body used to be a wonderland; now it had no magic on it, no unexplored and thrilling places to go. After this phase, their relashionship turned into a crystal ball full of cracks. Maura couldn't see their future together anymore, only because it wasn't working like it supposed to be. She felt blinded. She didn't know what to expect from Jane, neither if the brunette was by her side. Truth be told, Maura had this feeling that Jane was on the other side of the world to her.

But she could hear Jane right now. Not really what she was saying, only her voice. Her words seemed to pass her by, lost, not finding its destination. A moment had gone when she finally could hear some silence again. She opened her eyes and saw Jane breathing heavily, all rage put out of her. That image made Maura's heart clutched. That tough woman, that unruly black hair made her fall in love... What's that expression people use to say? Sweep her off her feet, yes. Jane came along and sweep her off her feet. She felt totally in love with her. Jane made her float, touch the clouds, the stars uncountable times. She never felt this way with anyone. She had finally met happiness. She could easily make through the day now, she had someone to come back home to, someone who would take her to the sky. But now she was free falling. What had happened to them? Had they spent so much time flying and dreaming that they had forgotten about gravity, about weariness?

She was afraid she wouldn't be able to stop their fall.

She was afraid of the place where they had reached now.

She was afraid of having no turning back.

She was afraid they were way too damaged to get repaired.

Even so...

We're done.

A wave of pain ran throughout her body. Real pain.

The words astonished her, and she could say that that caused the same effect on Jane. The brunette had dropped her jaw, her eyes were wide opened. As she watched Jane arched her eyebrows as if waiting to hear it again, realization sank in: those bitter words had slipped out of _her _lips.

She felt bile rising in her throat. Swallowing hard, Maura tried again.

'I think... We are done.'

'Oh, now you don't wanna talk about it? As much as I remember _you _started this conversation!'

Maura dropped her head and shook it no. Jane wasn't seing things clearly. Firts, because it wasn't a conversation anymore. Second, she didn't understand what Maura had said.

'No.' And it was sharp. She couldn't breath anymore. 'I mean you and me, we are done.'

'Maura, don't.' Jane's voice trailed off as she begun to walk towards Maura.

'I've made my mind.' The blonde breathed, not looking at Jane.

As soon as Jane grabbed her wrist, Maura flinched away, but Jane didn't let go of her. Her touch was hurting her. Not because it had pressure enough, only because she knew it was the last time she would feel Jane's hand on her like this. God, it was burning.

'Don't do this. Don't throw what we have away.' She asked again, her tone firm, but not bossy.

'I don't know if we have something anymore, Jane. I can't stand fighting like this everyday.'

'So can't I, Maura. But we...'

'No. Leave.' And these was her last words. She didn't want to prolong that talk. She released her arm from Jane's grip and rubbed the place with her own hands.

It's your call, Maura. Only yours. If you regret this, if you... It's on you.' Jane's voice was huskier than usual.

Maura knew Jane wouldn't push it, she wouldn't insist nor try to change her mind. She wouldn't beg to stay, she was too proud for this. And Maura thanked for this. It'd only make things harder. But what she didn't know was that the hardest part was coming yet.

She had said the truth. She couldn't stand fighting with Jane. Everytime they did, it teared her apart. Her mental and fisical energy was drained out of her and both, mind and body, claimed for some rest, some peace of mind. And on this last year she had been felt more tired than ever. It always started like the way she was feeling now. Her body all tensed, her mind a messy.

She didn't want to watch Jane walk away, so she kept her eyes on the ground. She was sure Jane had murmured something before closing the door, but her mind didn't register. Once she was sure Jane was gone, the honey blonde walked towards the door and locked it.

She felt weak imediatly.

She rested her back against the cold wood, slided her body until she reached the ground and sat herself. She folded her knees and brought it to her chest. God, it hurt so badly.

Now she didn't have to worry about falling apart. She already had hit the ground and she could said that the landing wasn't calm or smooth at all. It was too much painful, as a matter of fact. The impact took her capacity to breath away. She was scared, hurt and losing control. She was alone again. That house was so big to her to be alone there. Yes, the house was big, however, now it seemed to be dwindling, getting smaller and smaller. The walls were closing in, trying to squeeze her. She was suffocating, but she was finally breathing again, wans't she? No, she was hyperventilating.

Calm down, Maura. It's not the end of the world. Put yourself together. She stood up shakily, trying to control her breathe. She made her way back to the middle of the living room. Her eyes fell right to the empty mug over the coffee table. Maura knew something: when people cry a lot, they feel empty, almost peaceful. But now she was too busy concentrating herself to get back her breathe. In and out. So many question crossed her mind making hard to decide whether or not she had made the right choice. God, was she in doubt? Of course she was, she have loved Jane for years. Jane have loved her back. But now they were over. They were broken. Why things have to be over? Why is this stupid mug still here?

She grabbed the mug in attempt to cast it away. She was so mad over that ridiculous mug. Then she observe it again. The same thought crossed her mind. She had to cry a lot before being empty just like that mug; a second thought followed. She wasn't mad at the mug at all. And as a prelude her eyes filled with tears and after a blink, they were streaming down on her face.

That was the hardest part. Realizing that this time Jane wouldn't be there for her. She couldn't. That Jane was lost in the past. She had to stand this by herself. Could she survive it? In the back of her mind other question was lingering for a couple of days, before all of this. Now make itself clean:

Will she be able to fly again?


End file.
